Hit Counter
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Bad Beat Blog?
I don't like the way the direction this blog has been going the last week. Turning into a feckin bad beat blog! Fair enough, its been a horrible week for me in poker, but I have no idea why I got so annoyed about it. I was on a great buzz from the Anglers Rest win, but this didn't last too long!
Anyway, I'm off to Prague tomorrow, and I've decided to stay away from poker for the weekend. Try and clear my head a bit! When I come back, no more moaning and bitching about DONKEYS... I promise :)
To change the mood of this blog, here's a gem of a story I heard recently...
One day during the Great Depression, this man who walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks". The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar.
Well, the bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler", replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?" "Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender? "Well, for example, I'll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender thought about it. "OK". So, the guy pulls out his false right eye and bites it. "Aw, you screwed me", said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another $50 that I can bite my LEFT eye," said the stranger. The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet". So, the guy pulls out his false teeth and bites his left eye. "Aw, you screwed me again". "That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the $50", said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The guy, drunk as a skunk, said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you $500 that I can stand on this bar here on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop". The bartender once again pondered the bet.
The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "OK, you're on". The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle. The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me $500!" The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's OK. I just bet each of the guys in the card room $1000 each that I could piss all over you AND the bar and still make you laugh!"
Anyway, I'm off to Prague tomorrow, and I've decided to stay away from poker for the weekend. Try and clear my head a bit! When I come back, no more moaning and bitching about DONKEYS... I promise :)
To change the mood of this blog, here's a gem of a story I heard recently...
One day during the Great Depression, this man who walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks". The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar.
Well, the bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler", replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?" "Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender? "Well, for example, I'll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender thought about it. "OK". So, the guy pulls out his false right eye and bites it. "Aw, you screwed me", said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.
"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another $50 that I can bite my LEFT eye," said the stranger. The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet". So, the guy pulls out his false teeth and bites his left eye. "Aw, you screwed me again". "That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the $50", said the man.
With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. The guy, drunk as a skunk, said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you $500 that I can stand on this bar here on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop". The bartender once again pondered the bet.
The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "OK, you're on". The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle. The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me $500!" The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's OK. I just bet each of the guys in the card room $1000 each that I could piss all over you AND the bar and still make you laugh!"
